I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize