I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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