I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
you had me at cake vodka
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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