Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
