Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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