only if we run a train.
done.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
