U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So drunk its hurt
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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