And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
