i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
