She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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