I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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