theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
