everyone is single if you try hard enough
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Do you remember whose house we're in?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
