Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
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