we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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