I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
