Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
