maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
