What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Still dying that you shit outside
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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