You work out of a Hotel?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
