If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
