Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
