The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
