bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
