hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
