I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize