He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
