A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
