drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
