If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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