She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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