Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
