mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
