just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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