No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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