Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
