she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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