Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
All I want is dick and wine.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
