I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
someone owes me an orgasm
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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