I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
