i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Your cock deserves a montage
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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