In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
As shirtless as possible
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
