between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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