Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
