You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
