I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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