That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
