he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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