May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
