I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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