Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Quick, to the slutcave!
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
