I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So vagazzling was a success
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
