just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
