So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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