dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
