Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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